Saturday, March 12, 2011

Day 40

I finished reading Plant Spirit Medicine (by Eliot Cowan) today, and feel like that is a direction I would like to explore more. I hear there are classes in Vermont… I’ll be looking those up. Being here though, and seeing how Kim and Marcelo manage to teach themselves all manner of things from books and apprenticing, I feel like I’d like to learn by apprenticing, talking with others, reading, and being self-taught rather than by taking classes. It might be time for me to stop relying so heavily on school to learn things.

Raking leaves for compost dry matter:

Today I realized that this month has not felt relaxing like last month did. I do not feel the deep peace I felt then, and I am wondering why. I suspect its because our work schedule is much more busy, frequent, and labor intensive. We haven’t had any rain (except for a brief passing storm yesterday) this month at all; all the rain last month forced us to take lots of quiet, inward time, and I loved it. I wonder if it’s practical to find this in everyday life at home or not. It’s easy for me to get swept up by many different projects, jobs, and to split my energy in many different directions. Would it make a difference to make sure I have siesta every day (no matter when it is?) Siesta is one of the two things I feel like MUST be taken from here as a good life lesson. The other is to live on a river (if possible), or on water so that you can swim in clean, pure water every day. It’s so grounding, so refreshing. It doesn’t matter how hot it gets when you realize that you can just take a dunk in the cool water any time. I’d also like to incorporate yoga into my everyday life, even if it means I only do four sun salutations… at least I can start each morning with the honor and ceremony and intention that yoga invokes in my day. Each morning I do yoga I leave the shala feeling energized, excited, and full of happiness and love.

Jo, chopping fire wood:Jess led us in a kundalini yoga practice this afternoon. We did one last Saturday as well, and I really disliked it. I felt the same today. I hate kundalini practice! It makes me angry and obstinate feeling in the same way that going running does sometimes. It’s fast-paced, hot, tiring, and involves very little stretching (which I crave and love). I started crying in yoga today because I was so frustrated, but I realize that there’s probably something for me to learn in that. Why do I get angry and obstinate? Am I protecting myself from a lesson I am afraid of?Am I hiding something deep inside that this yoga threatens to find? On a surface level I feel excited to explore that, to find and release it, but on a deeper level I feel that fear lingering. I wonder what it all means.

Can you see the deep purple on this butterfly? It's so dark it's nearly black, and next to those salmon spots it's amazing!

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